Friday, May 8, 2015

Just When You Thought It Was Safe

It appeared that perhaps Mom was getting back on schedule, but actually she's far from it. On Wednesday she was up for breakfast around 8:30, ate, then took a nap until about Noon when she got up for lunch. After lunch she took another nap and was down until around 4:00. Well that's pretty close to her "old normal", so I was thinking so far so good, she back on track. Right?


Yesterday, Mom was up bright and early at 6:30. She had a couple cups of coffee and breakfast then headed back to her room. But, she was only in her room about ten minutes and came back out around 9;45. She'd carried her last coffee cup out with her and stopped in the kitchen to look at the clock on the stove. After looking at the clock she made a comment about how late it was getting. I replied to her, "late? It's morning Mom". Hearing this she said, "No it's not" and slammed her coffee cup down on the cutting board.

Now that was a flashback to the Mom I grew up with. LOL

She stayed up until about 2:00, took a two hour nap then was ready for dinner. She ate, then we ate, and she ate again. It was a two dinner night. After dinner she was off to bed.

So what will today bring?

It was 10:30 before she came out for breakfast, fully dressed and carrying her wallet. It appeared she was going somewhere. She finished breakfast and headed off to her room. At least that's what I thought.

I was sitting here writing and didn't watch her go into her room, but about two minutes after she toddled off, I went out to have a smoke. To my surprise Mom was standing on the back deck.

Ah,  now I know why she was dressed. The cogs must have been in sync today because she was after the dandelions that drive her so crazy. I stayed with her as she picked the heads off a few, but she was so unstable I made her stop and sit down while I grabbed her some coffee. Well that worked, once she had her coffee in hand she decided it was too cold out and wanted to go in.

She watched TV for a bit then I made her some lunch. It's nearly 2:30 and she's still going strong today.

This new schedule, or lack there of, has created havoc trying to do cigar reviews. I just can't count on a two hour block of time like I could in the past. Plus now you see why I can't really let her out of eye-sight. I know it drives her crazy, but it must be done to keep her safe.

Well thanks again and have a great Mothers day weekend! 

Tuesday, May 5, 2015

The Card - Big Things Can Come In Small Packages

Like a hunter stalking their prey, Mom is always searching for mail. Not a drawer or room is safe from her quest. 

It took months of tedious work to deal with Mom's mail before we moved her. If it came in the mail, she saved it, end of story. There were over 10 garbage bags of junk mail stacked up in piles, in boxes and in file folders. Yes, just junk mail that Mom had stashed away and saved. Even getting rid of it was a challenging task. If I didn't get moved out of eye sight or hauled away fast enough Mom would unload the bags and get angry at me for taking away her important papers. She also would salvage rotten food I would throw away on each visit. Yuck!

That back-story brings us to yesterday. Yesterday, a card came for in the mail for Mom from an old friend. With apprehension I decided let Mom read it. I know not giving Mom her mail makes me sound like a bad son, but wait there is more to the story and this may be the last mail I let her read.  

Within five minutes of Mom reading the card, it happened. Question after question in her bitter tone of voice. "Who decided to bring me here"? "Why can't I live with my friend"? Etc, etc. It was near 30 minutes of hell because her dementia won't let her remember anything is wrong with her. Anyway, after several tries, I finally got the topic changed and we were done. At least I though we were done.

This brings us today and the continued fallout from that one lone card yesterday. 

Mom came out around 9:00 for breakfast looking pretty wild-eyed and her hair all a strew. She had used the bathroom around 6:30 and I could hear her moving around in her room afterwards, so I knew something would be up sooner or later.

Breakfast went off without a hitch and she headed back to her room. Thinking I'd dodged a bullet, I was pretty happy. Well I should have known better. Within five minutes Mom was back out with two pieces of paper in hand. Once I got close enough I could see they were 8 x 10 photos. Oh, oh! 

One was a picture of Grandpa and Grandma, Dad's parents, the other was a picture of Kel when she was 4. Mom knew that she should know everyone in the photo's but she couldn't remember. I explained who everyone was and she wrote the names on the back of each photo. 

Trying to explain Kel was now 24 not 4 was a total lost cause, but hey I tried. However, the mention of Dad brought forth the, "where is Jack", question. In fact not just once but several times back-to-back. Then came the "what happened to him"? several times.  Then the conversation turned to "why am I here"? "Who's in my house"? "Do I own a house"? "I'm thinking I want to move home".

Ugh! It just never stops. 

On top of all that, she has no idea who I am today. She thinks I might be her son, but she can't remember my name. Don't get me wrong, I can deal with her loss of memory, it's kind of funny at times, but it's the continuous badgering that gets to me. At one point when she asked how Dad died I wanted to say, "Your constant badgering gave him 3 heart attacks and he died". I didn't say that and wouldn't, but I think it's true. 

Thanks again for reading! Have a great day!

Monday, May 4, 2015

The Things She Can Say - I'm So Dizzy

On a daily basis I just never know what questions Mom will hit me with. There are a couple sayings that you know you'll hear, but beyond that it's a daily crap-shoot.

For example, every morning when I set her breakfast on the table, she will either say, "oh my goodness, oh my goodness", or just "oh my, oh my". 

About every other day, normally after she looks out the front window, she will ask either "I had a car didn't I"? or "Where's my car. Both of these bring on an entire line of questioning if I can't get the subject changed. 

Even if I get a good segway in, a "where's my car" day will always eventually lead into a "who's in my house"? day. If I can get the subject changed that may be the end of it for the day, but then again maybe not. 

One morning last week she came out in the morning and the first words out of her mouth were. "how did I get here"? 
"I brought you Mom. Do you want some breakfast"?
She replied "Yes, I'm hungry". 

That was a goo topic changer and it worked, for about ten minutes. She was eating and I was sitting here across the table writing when she looked up and asked me, "are you my son"?
I replied "yes". 
Then to my dismay she replied "I didn't think I bore any children". 

I about fell out of my chair with that one. Holding back a laugh and a very sarcastic reply like, "no we were hatched". I simply told her that Steve and I were adopted. Without saying another word she lowered her gaze back to her plate and continued eating her breakfast.

Later in the day I was outside moving the sprinkler in the back yard. The screen door was closed on the slider, Mom walked up to the door and asked me, "where's Jack"?
I asked "Dad"?
She said "Yes".
I told her that Dad had died about 15 years ago and she replied, "oh, I didn't know that. That's too bad".
That was actually the first time she had mentioned Dad in well over a year.

After Paula got home the same day she was sitting out on the deck when Mom came out for her dinner. Mom looked out the kitchen window then asked, "who is that sitting there"?

Well most days she has no idea who I am so I'm not surprised she doesn't know who Paula is. 

I could go on and on, but that's enough for today. 

On the brighter side, she is getting back into her normal schedule so perhaps I can start reviewing cigars soon.

Have a great day!

Friday, May 1, 2015

Those Weeds Are Driving Me Crazy - The Dandeion

Before Mom moved in with us, picking weeks in her yard consumed a major portion of her day. Well at least the days not spent at the Casino. 

Well you know how time consuming she's been this spring, It seems I can't leave her alone for five minutes, so there really hasn't been any time to take care of the flower beds. 

The dandelions are in full bloom now and every time Mom looks out the front window she can see a few of those pesky buggers just below the window and they drive her nuts and yesterday was no exception. 

She looked out the window late in the afternoon, saw the dandelions down below and wanted to rush out and pick the heads off. After a minute or two of pondering that thought she turned to me and said, "maybe I'll do it tomorrow".

I gave her a simple "OK", as a reply and she walked away to her room satisfied for the time being. However, since she's Mom, I know that under all that was a stab directed at me for not having it taken care of it by now. Yesterday she did think we were heading into winter so I've had all summer to take care of those weeds. 

Once she was in her room and the door closed behind her, I grabbed a smoke, ran outside and pulled the flowers off every one of them. I know there will be more blooms tomorrow, but that will give me another day of reprieve and with luck I can go dig them out on Saturday.

I'll end this one here, but I think my next post will be on the wild and crazy stuff Mom says on a daily basis. Some of it's pretty fun and you'll be surprised how much she says. 

Have a great day!