Wednesday, April 22, 2015

It's Not Easy: Part II - Getting Ready

All to quickly the dreaded day of the appointment arrived. I knew deep down today would be filled with frustration, anger and lots of anxiety. Don't get me wrong, I was glad Mom was going to see the doctor about her eye, but at the same time, past trips out of the house had taxed me nearly to my limit. 

I knew that timing was everything when it comes to getting Mom out of the house. I waited until the last minute to wake her--for success she needed to be on my schedule, not hers. 

Once she was up and had devoured breakfast in her normal fashion, I explained that she had a doctors appointment and needed to get dressed. This event started the snarky line of questioning /complaining directed toward me since she thought there was no reason to see a doctor. 

Like I've said before, other than Mom's memory loss she's pretty healthy and can't remember she has dementia. In her mind she's fine and believes there's no need to waste money seeing a doctor. She even told me her eye was fine. After a bit of coaxing she headed into her room to get dressed. This time I was taking a proactive stance on keeping her focused, although it worked, it did nearly backfire on me. 

You have to understand Mom to understand this. For most of her life she hasn't really done anything she didn't want to do. If she didn't want to go to the doctor, no one was making her go. After about an hour of continual coaxing from me about getting ready, something I never expected happened, Mom started crying out of confusion and frustration. To this day I'm not sure if it was really frustration or if it was just a ploy to manipulate me so she could have her way. Well just for the record, I did feel bad, but I didn't give in. 

Finally she was dressed and we were headed out the door. Once she was strapped in the car and we were on the road the questions began. "Where are we going?", "Why are we going?", "There's nothing wrong with me I don't need to go". 

Lucky for me it's only a twenty minute drive to the doctor. That line of questioning continued over and over for the entire drive. 

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, we had arrived!

Tune in tomorrow for part III - The Appointment.

Like always, thanks for reading!


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