Tuesday, May 27, 2014

I Can See Clearly Now; After 45 Years I Understand Why

In an earlier post I mentioned that my great aunt Hester scared me to death as a kid and I had no recollection why of why she really did. Well this weekend our granddaughter spent the night and mom scares the hell out of her.

So anyway, after taking her home yesterday Paula and I discussed why mom scares her so much. Well first thing is Mom can never rember her name. Every time Mom she sees her, Mom asks in her gravely-witch-like-voice "and who do we have here" What's your name?"

Now she's only five but she remembers who great Grandma is, so why can't great Grandma remember who she is? I'm sure that's her logic. She doesn't understand Alzheimer's plus about half the time mom has just crawled out of bed and her hair has gone completly native creating an even scarier image.

To finish this half of the story, we never did push our granddaughter toward Mom any more than her comfort level would allow. I'll also share this post with Kelsey so she understands what can happen. Mom doesn't scare Kel because she grew up with a grandma that taught her to bake cookies and fun stuff like that. It does bother her to watch Mom slipping away, but Mom doesn't scare her. If Kel were five she too may be affraid.

So after this conversation with Paula I started thinking about Hester. I know this seams like no big deal, but every time Mom mentions Laura the first thing that jumps into my head is the fear of Hester. After this many years that means it was a huge childhood imprint.

I can only remember three things about great aunt Hester. She was a large woman that wore funny socks (support hose) and she used a walker to get around the house. I don't remember, but knowing my mom she probably forced me to go give Hester a hug. I'm guessing that any type of close contact was traumatizing being only five or six years old.

I'm calling this one solved, after 45 years I think the answer is clear and this issue can be laid to rest!


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